just thought i’d call…

Phone Complications

I saw her
In a dream
I woke up
But I couldn’t see her face
I felt her body
Against mine
But I was clutching sheets
I woke up slightly clearer
Cleare than before
Again months go by
And I can’t see her
I can’t feel her
And I don’t know her
But  I got a phone call
Said the lies were rampant
I said I was shocked
But I was not
Oh, we fall asleep
And we never wake
Months and years
We live in only days
So, shout it
Say, hooray
Your living it up
Living it up for today

Wake Up

Two girls
Sit on top of a car
Busy A Street
Smoking cigarettes
As I pass
The sun is out
The sun hides
The sun sets
All the while
You toss and turn in bed
The world is going on
Without you
Without you we will live on
Without you we can move on

Deconstructing
Line by line
Time is a waste
When you sleep all the time
But, hey, man
Just leave me alone
Let me sleep for a couple days
Just sleep for a few days
So I can clear my head
It’s been months
Now it’s all caving in
Thats what I think
I think he might have thought
It’s a feeling
I am dying
I know it
But it’s not so hard to take
When you are swiftly swept away
Dream worlds won’t let you get out
Waking life becomes waking hell
Can’t get out
Do I want out?

fly/sohigh/cantkeepaholdof.time.

In Yr Ear

So long
How long has it been
Since
This began
We’ll a year passes by
But it meant nothing
When the months pass by
I feel older by the day
And
Years go by
In the form of weeks
Aren’t I 41 yet?
And I wake up as dazed
As when I went to sleep
Well how the hell you supposed to know?
If the drugs are working
And how can I breathe
I can’t even eat
Oh does it begin?
They say the train aint gonna stop
Well sometime it’s got to end

But Do You Dream?

I cough up
Tiny little islands
They float around
They go down, down, down
When they meet the drain
I don’t know your name
I saw you walking down the street
With your head held high
And no shoes on your feet
You must be crazy
But thats how we live daily
It’s so insane
We lost our minds
Can’t wrap around our brains
Every direction
In only meer seconds
Time takes its goddamn time
We are all on a flight
But the stewardess ignors me
I got no ID
But can’t I have a drink?
We’re all falling you said
I wonder whats in the bags over my head
I missed what else you said
Oh, shit, here we go
Like a trainwreck
Like fluid dominos
How do we go
I don’t really know
But the islands float away
They make it down the drain
You arrive safely in spain
Before I wake
Was it even a dream at all?
Or did I forget
When I woke up at the hotel
Walked down the stairs
Looked at pianos at the mall
Passed out drunk in the alleyway
I lost your love before I ever got a chance
The boys will ask
Did I get laid
I will look far off and say
I lost my mind on a train
The road is long and hard
I didn’t know your name
Buisness trips aren’t the same
When you don’t get paid
Art is hard when your sober every day
And now the ship is sinking
The boys want me to stay
But I yell, hey, hey…
Wait a minute
I can reconstruct the lines
Bringing me back in time
Where I ill find
My lost mind
Floating on a desert island
Going down the drain
Going, down, down
Down and out
With the bacteria
The monsters
The hairy beasts
And the orchestras of leaves
Oh, I don’t know
Where will we go?
Tomorrow may just be the same

untittled

So it’s time to take that ride
Did you really forget what sobriety is like?
It’s all just been, living, man
We’re living as fast as we can
And he said he will die young
It’s just to far away to see
Car accidents they happen
But I swear man, they don’t happen to me
So here is the time
And now is the place
Sobriety’s a bitch
But it’s got to take place
So how long will it take?
Will we ever get to know
Give me a cigarette
Turn around
And let me go

Uncaught

Friday night
Only eight in the evening
And we’re already dead.
Thats what he expected
When he left.
The ship never sank
It was fully enveloped
By the rogue waves
That never sleep,
Swift and quick
Leaves you no time to weep.
This is the end of the story
But some are said to have survived.
She waited on the shore
Watching the lighthouse
Go round and round,
The moon was bright
As she saw the their ship come to sight
And dissapear
We all wish to dissapear
But the will to live
Is a high unto itself
We are rich and powerfull
In knowledge and dreaming wealth.

early morn

4:58 a.m. or Why Lie, Do; Die? 

This is the hell we surrender to
The fires gone out
And we are burned by the ice
We stumble through the doorways
Can’t keep track of the days
Until all is such haze
Oh, those days…
But the beaches will be packed
And the hell fire rain down
It comes in hailstorms
‘Cause we froze it over
Wake up! Young dreamer
May you gaze upon reality
Or can you comprehend?
In love with your own bed
And alone with only your curiousity
Oh, let it be
And when you go inside
What seem quiet homes
Mothers will be weeping
Starring at dead telephones
Fathers overworking
He can’t get away
But he’s going to heaven
Born sober and still this day

Great Stalin’s Ghost… the sketches v.2

 

 

 

 

 

you are not the sun

Hungover, Dying & Hungry in Bangkok

I force myself to puke
Purge out the demons
They’ve grabbed ahold of my gullet
They’re whispering sweet nothings
Walk home again
Can’t even bare to stare at the screen
Can’t even settle down to sleep
What you tryin’ to say?
‘Cause now I’m listening
I was number 1
And I was number 8
And once I was even number 2
Well if you know what I’m talkin’ bout
Please don’t reply
I can’t take it
I don’t want to be number 3
But someday for someone it shall be
Wake in the early morning light
You’ve slept enough
Spent enough time sleeping alone
So break up the feelings
Tear apart your head
Purge out the demons
Don’t be afraid of what they said
A family photograph
And a stack of bills
A mug of water
This is what you get for cheap thrills
But tonight I’ll probably die again
365, going on years
How long can you survive
When will the haze rise
Oh, we will rise
Yeah, your so free
Yeah, you were goddamn right about me
Yeah, I am number 3 on the floor
Someday someone will settle for more
But until that day I can dream
And I will scream out
Intangabilities
Because I am the suicide king
And I deserve to be free as you
Forget these demons
As they circle down the drain
Purged the demons
But they’ll be back someday
Just like you

“The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.”
- Walter Bagehot

Spring Come Early, Death Before Fall

The sun is out
The clouds are gone
The forecast says tomorrow will be rain
But for now the couples
Pile out of their homes
Walk down the sidewalks
Hand in hand
And I smoke cigarettes
To cure my hangover
Keeps me from growing sick
‘Cause I’m sick and tired
of it not being me
But I’m not the only one
My friends are all alone with me
So let’s trash this fucking place
Throw disasterious parties
Feel the sunlight give you life
Feel the lack of sleep
Pull down on your eyes
It’s all alright
We can die everynight
Hanging over the weekend
Hanging over till July

“It was a high counsel that i once heard given to a young man,
‘always do what you are afraid to do.’”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

that was valentines day

Valentines Showers pt 1 + 2

Smoke forks and rolls across the room
To the sounds of the new romance
And I am a liar and a king
King of pain but I can hide it away
Smoke cigarettes
A pack a day
Just say hey, hey, hey
Stop me in my tracks
If you’ve got something to say
Hey, hey, hey
Well there are all the photographs
Memories and scars
You can count them in years
You can count by the deminishing cards
Well don’t be sad
The day is almost over
Don’t be sad
Slept away an afternoon
And a new day has begun
(Courdaroy forever
Old records
New hairstyle
Watch the ladies
Roam these streets forever
Drive all night long
Until your mind is gone
Go ahead
Cry in the rain
No one can see
Unfinished thoughts
Unused portfolios
Faded dreams
Ripped up jeans
Can’t lie forever
Won’t live forever
I need the smell of summer
I need your poison dream)

Valentines Showers pt.  3

Oh, cloudy day
Bring the rain
Bring the life giving day
Hell forsake the lonely
And heaven pour down acid rain
Bear traps
And pieces of steeples
Naked beaches
lighthouse fading
Crash the ship
Into the rocks
We never stood a chance
Gave it all we got
Who bailed the love?
You’re dreams are over
Cut open foerver
Dissections
Medications
Clean up so well
No one will know
No one can ever tell
I love you darling
I love you darling
I miss you darling
I don’t know you darling
And honey
I never knew your name
Everyone makes mistakes
We all try to stay the same
Same cool
Same okay
Same life every god damn day
But we need change
Oh baby we need a change
If you would just fly down
From the heavens to m y heart
Wrap your soul around my arms
Just speak to me
Tell me your name

movements

Behind my eyes
My brain is
A super computer
There is no code
Images smells
Tastes and sounds
Catalogged in tiny files
In rows
In this large cave
Surrounded by purple haze
And we dance in purple rain

But is a skull
A prison for your soul?
Why are we traped
In these calcium walls
To the confines of our minds
All the while
Arguments arise
Outside my prison bars

Mushrooms growing in boxes
Closet doors inviting
The darkness turns to purple
Picture of a clock on the wall
A fence in the hallway
Makes no sense at all
In a victorian home
He shouted!
He said
He could feel it in his head

The phone rang
But no one was there
The message recieved
Where is that?
The reply was sent
It’s not a place!
It is spice
Copious amounts
For experience
I see he said
And he did not understand

So we went for a drive
Breathe in fresh air
Hah, I scoff
Smoke soothes
Our dying lungs
As the day begun
Without nearly as much fun
As e had hoped
When we were young

And when I awake
It is truly a new day
But my head feels swamped
I still feel the same
I dreamed such dreamy dreams
And I got lost in my sleep
No phone call could pull me out
I just can’t wrap my head around
This reality
While I know
I am still the real me