retrospectacle

In one week, that is, seven days; I will turn twenty years old.

I have been through much. I have seen a lot. I have done more than I should. And another year has come bye, so quick.

My mind wanders, and I get lost, and now I am not who I was, or who I should be… possibly.

This vicious cycle, year after year, what have I learned?

Yes, this is supposed to be one of those life-retrospective “blogs” because another year has come and gone-bye.

But what is there really to say? Mistakes, regrets, accidents, wrong turns, they all add up, and thats what we call a year. My ninteenth year; I sure made alot of those. And here I am, two weeks ago I would have told you that I knew where I was going and what I was doing and where I was going to be in another year.

Times are changing, and so are we.

Ideas, hopes, dreams, nightmares, aspirations, fantasies, they’ve all been thrown out here. There is a pile. We could dig for hours… and all of that may add up to somethiing new, maybe somethinng beautiful even…. if thats what life has in store.

All I know for sure is that I have to grow. Keep growing. Twenty is not enough. Twenty-one is not enough. Thirty is not enough. No, I wish to live on forever. Somehow. I will do something right, someday.

I am not a perfect man.

Do not follow my actions.

Do not use me as an example.

Do not believe all that you have heard.

I am just a tired, tattered boy, making my way through life, trying to be something that I am not.

My name is Raleigh Blum, and this is urban cancer.

It’s all Dave’s fault.

Here’s the background: I was born in Arizona, didn’t stay long, moved to a slightly famous town in Oregon, known for cheese, and then somehow I ended up in Moscow Idaho, home of the Vandals, and nobody cares what else is here. In fact, most people in the nation wouldn’t know the Vandals, or care about them. They’re wac man. No, seriously, WAC.

My mother was a secretary, my father was a trucker. I was a quiet kid, and I still am a lot of the time. I listen. I soak in. I know whats going on. My family is very religious, I grew up in church. One day I stopped going… but its all still in me. You’ll see that (or maybe you won’t).

When I was too young to even remember how young I was, I sat next to one of the pastors sons in our church. His name is Scott. He was big into art and music. I picked up the art thing from him. I picked up musical tastes from many family members, friends and accomplices along the way in my life.

So I became a lover of the arts, and a creator of them too. I’m not that great at it, and to tell the truth, I don’t know how often I will even post my visual creations.

So whats this blog about?

I guess it’s about writing.

I have to say, I would not be into writing as much as I am today if it weren’t for Crag Hill, my senior english teacher.

So, back to my not so interesting, short life story. I am slightly less than a month from being twenty years old, I am a college drop out pizza delivery boy *slash* self-proclaimed artist extraordinaire *slash* writer.

I have a wonderful girlfriend who makes my life good and happy. I have loving parents who care far too much about me and no matter what I’ve done, they’ve been there. Its unfortunate that not many are so fortunate. Isn’t it?

I live with a couple of alcoholics. Went to high school with one, college with the other (he dropped out too!) and somehow we ended up living in an apartment together. You learn a lot about your firneds, and people in general, whe you live with them.

All these people, they shape me. They teach me. They are a part of the art/s that you will see here. Yeah, that means there was a point inn telling you all these random things about random people you don’t know (or maybe you do know them, and if you do kow any of them, tell them I said hi).

I have many strange ideas about the world, many unfounded crazy opinions about life and people in general, and I am throwing it up on theinternet for anyone to see, love, hate, or ignore.

And if Dave’s ideas work out as great as he hopes for them to, then this blog may last longer than any other blog I may or may not have made at some point in time.

At the very least, someone will learn something about me; and maybe that someone will only be me.